No more nagging in the bagging area

Tesco is to replace its annoying ‘unexpected item in bagging area’ message with far more passive aggressive phrases for its moron customers. The new message is designed to speed up the check-out process for people who find self-service tills ‘confusing’. A Tesco spokesperson explained, “Self-service tills are an incredible invention, it’s just that people are too stupid to use them properly – we feel the latest messaging will help.”

“In addition to checking if the moron in charge has actually scanned an item, it will also remind them to put the item in a bag, rather than stack them all all loosely in the ‘bagging area’.”

“It’s called the bagging area. Because you put things in bags. The new message will remind them that is it’s not called the ‘just place everything here loose and then worry about bagging it once you’ve paid’ area.”

“And if you don’t have a clubcard it’ll just say ‘fine then, whatever’.”