I don't want a tousled look so blow dry mine straight with the ends turned under. However, I can get the tousled look without using a hairdryer .... drizzle plus windy weather guarantees that! (And I hate it.)
sounds as if that leave-in product I recommended hasn't worked for you Toril. That's a shame - I haven't had one frizzy hair day since discovering it.
If it's the one from Amazon, I do use it before blow drying it and the results are just what I want. It's only when I get wet and blown around outside that the 'frizz' starts. It's not actually frizz ..... I just go wavy which I don't like. I don't think any product would stop that, apart from a helmet. 😉