Tonight it's Europa and Europa Conference League games.
In the Conference (losers), it's RSC Anderlecht vs West Ham , just kicked off.
Later in the Europa it's Arsenal vs Bodø/Glimt at 8pm
Bodø/Glimt is in Norway so they will play like Elsie Haaaaarlaaand or Ole Gunner Solskar Solsjear Solskcjar that Norwegian who used to manage Man City badly. I looked on the map and Bodø is a bit of a dump like Teesside, but it's surrounded by beautiful mountains and scenery, which is not like Teesside.
Just realised Arsenal have no less than three (3) Gabriels in their squad - Jesus, Martinelli and dos Santos Magalhães. I checked out Sambi Lokonga but his first name is Albert.
Not much more to say about this one really. The Gunners are very good this season, I can see them winning some sort of silverware in the end. Jesus came on in the second half, praise the Lord, and assisted in Ferreira Vieira's goal. What a great name, Ferreira Vieira.
Jesus didn't walk on water, that was his mate Moses I think. Jesus is more into walking on Viking keepers' heads it seems, as demonstrated tonight.
FFS I was just finishing tonights reports when the laptop shut itself down for no reason and I lost the lot.
And so...
Man City 4-0 Southampton Only one for Haaaalaaand who must be losing his touch. Pip Giddyoli won't be happy. I am though, I predicted 4-0.
Newcastle 5-1 Brentford So immortalled is Ali Howe by his Saudi emperors that he's now been rewarded with a full barrel of oil and a dozen camels. I rode a camel once but we don't talk about it...
Bournemouth 2-1 Leicester What a crock of shite. Daka put us 0-1 up after ten minutes and thoughts of last weeks thrashing of Forest came flooding back. But instead we tried to defend for 80 minutes with defenders who frankly should be shot in the face in front of their families. Brenda tried to hot things up with a double substitution and within four minutes we're 2-1 down. He was bleating last week about "the turn in our season", well that's become a U-turn that Liz Truss would have been fecking proud of. The fans we're calling for blood at the end, Rodgers' blood. I can only agree, he needs to go and he needs to go now. He doesn't give a toss, he's probably working his ticket anyway for his £10m pay-off.
West Ham 3-1 Fulham For some reason The Hammers seem to go right over my head, I know very little about them apart from the bubble blowing and the manager. Today was a routine hammering of lowly Fulham, and it would seem a new lad called Scarymacca is the secret to West Ham's return to form. He has scored in each of their last three games. Worth watching then but not quite an Elsie yet.
Arsenal 3-2 Liverpool Wow! Though Klopp won't be thinking that after a thriller that this time didn't go their way. Once again the Angel Gabriel was MOM, sorry, POM, but the game was decided by a penalty when the Scousers had pulled it back to 2-2. The thing is you can't go round scything Jesus down in the box and expect no punishment, despite the bloke forever banging on about forgiving people's sins. And so Arsenal are back at the top while Liverpool are desperately clinging on to tenth. It's been very quiet from the Warrington contingent recently...
Gunners fans praise the Almighty while Klopp complains that the pitch was uneven.