The Limerick thread

3) He's really quite sweet
4) And very light on his feet

Storm often have thunder and lightning
Which some find very frightening
You may not agree
But to me you see
I find them really exciting

You have a book of smutty limericks, Nellie? I'm jealous. Now I come to think of it, Sam has several X-rated ones in his head somewhere. My favourite is still the well-known one that begins "On the breasts of a barmaid from Sale".......

There was a young lady of Ongar
Who got into bed with a conger
When asked how it felt
She replied “Though it smelt
It was just like a man, only longer”.


There was a young girl from Wantage
Of whom the Town Clerk took advantage
The Borough Surveyor
Said “I think you should pay her
You’ve altered the whole of her frontage”


A voyeur was caught in the dark as
He spied on erotic car-parkers
But when told to desist
Said “I just can’t resist
These couples who lark when they’re starkers”.


There was a young lady of Cheam
Who crept into a vestry unseen
She pulled down her knickers
And likewise the vicar’s
And said “How about it, old bean?”.


An Irish girl born in Stillorgan
Had a Welsh music master called Morgan
He taught her the lute
And she played on his flute
But the thing she liked best was his organ.


There was a young girl of Djakarta
Who was widely acclaimed as a farter
At the African sports
Her deafening reports
Brought her general fame as a starter.

On the breasts of a barmaid from Sale
Was tattooed the price of Brown Ale
And on her behind
For the sake of the blind
Was the same information, in Braille.


My father-in-law told me that one and it always makes me laugh...

Nellie, you made Sam choke on his cup of tea with your limericks. We both particularly liked the first, second and fourth...
To continue the theme.....

1) While being fitted for a merkin.....