I must be able to make money ...

One of my personal favourites. 

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That all requires effort. Alf's not big on effort.

I do. And he will let you. In fact he clearly likes it which most cats don't.

Lol. That's about his limit. I can't remember who commented here, but someone did, that they had never seen a photo of Alf stood up. That's because I don't have one.

A cry goes up if anyone ever sees him run!

He does go out and he does mooch about but its always at an amble with a rest every now and then for good measure.

Lol @tinkerbelle,

That was me pet, but still living in hope!