Sweets for Hallowe'en

I dress as a clown and stand at the top of the driveway, I have no truck with these scrounging little blighters.

I don't buy any sweets because I don't bother opening the door. The first year I moved here the doorbell rang and I answered it because it was 30th October! A couple of teenagers in anoraks (they'd obviously put a lot of effort into their costumes ) asked if I'd like a trick or a treat. I quietly explained that as they were a day early they could go away and come back on the correct day. They didn't return the following evening but if they had done then I would have been 'out' - or to put it another way, I'd have ignored them.

I live in a small and very quiet Cul-de-sac and, as we've had no other trick and treaters since then, I can only assume they can't be bothered to pay us a visit any more - thank goodness. I probably sound like a real killjoy but I don't like the fact that we are expected to follow an American 'tradition' and endorse a practice which could be risky for unaccompanied youngsters.

I will be displaying my no trick or treaters here so pi** off sign as usual

Well I like it............