'Scheisse' is German for the 4 letter single syllable profanity that rhymes with 'bit'.
Twit?
FT (last one tonight)
Palace 0-0 Newcastle Another drab 0-0, it's something odd when the Leicester match produces the most goals. Anyway I didn't get to follow this, but I worry that the Geordies aren't going to be so constantly successful for another half season and may struggle to stay in the top 4. For now they are fine, 15 matches on the bounce unbeaten, a Premier League record for them, but will it last?
Actually ignore that, Man Utd are closing in it's true but Spurs are six points behind and they've got no bloody hope.
In a situation where no goals seem forthcoming, grab your opponent and drag the shyster down.
There's been ructions at the Chelsea vs Liverpool ladies match today, apparently the 9:30 pitch inspection revealed a frozen pitch so they decided to leave it till 12 oclock to see if it would thaw. Many fans travelled down from Scouseland only for the match to be abandoned ten minutes after kick off because it was still icy and rock hard underfoot. Much angst from both fans and club staff, quite rightly imo.
Beth Mead, her who lives near Whitby and was in the winning England Euros team put out a message on Twitter, also featuring an amusingly named website where you can sign a petition for underground heating at women's games....
Man City 3-0 Wolves There's been trouble at the Etihad because some people say the team would be better off without Elsie Hahahaland. They say he hogs the limelight with this intolerable ability to score in virtually every match, and so other top players are left out to make way for him. I swear that is a genuine complaint that's been mentioned. And so today, having scored his hat-trick (3) within an hour, Beppe Guardiola hauled the bugger off to give someone else a chance. But they couldn't be arsed and so Elsie might as well have stayed on and made it six. Tbh things haven't been right since Phyliss went off on the sick, Jacqui is certainly missing him that's for sure.
Arsenal 3-2 Man Utd An absolute classic that I wish I'd seen, two clubs both on top form with points to prove. POTM must go to Eddie Nikita, the lad who's standing in for Jesus who's nursing a bad knee. The Angel Gabriel is still there but he got in a spat early on with Bruno Fernandes and risked a card. Luckily there was an omnipresence surrounding The Emirates today so our halo wearer was reprieved for his bolshiness. Anyway, Nikita who'd scored one earlier was on hand in the 90th minute when we were at 2-2. Everyone was going to accept that but not him, knocking the winner in from close range. The Emirates erupted as the VAR check allowed the goal, Nikita having been close to offside. Gunners stay 5 points clear at the top with a game in hand. I do wish @itchy would join in sometime because this could be her season.
Possibly what is known as a bad tempered encounter. The Geordies eventually sorted it after a painful first half, and not much better second half tbh. Joe Linton was the the single goal scorer, having had one disallowed for handball in the first half and then missing a sitter. The Saints also had a goal disallowed for handball - what is it with everyone cheating these days? Towards the end tempers flared and one Saint got sent off for a nasty and unwarranted push on a Geordie who was already down, and that was that really. Newcastle now host the second leg next week with a 1-0 lead already in the bag, it's theirs to lose.
Nick Pope (in the orange kit) demonstrates why he is probably the best keeper in the country by leaping on top of the fecker who had the audacity to try and score against Mohammed and the Boys. He could have been red carded for that but luckily the necessary transactions were met.
It's worth noting that cassandra, our Greek Geordie correspondent has been quite tetchy tonight, commenting on racist rats and backing gobshite Asda managers out to make a name for themselves. Hopefully tonight's result will have cheered her up.
Oh and it's 10 clean sheets in a row for keeper Nick Pope and Newcastle, why isn't he first choice keeper for England instead of Everton's rather dodgy Jordon Pickford?
No football tonight, not for us at least, but we do have a Thai match report of last night's Toon victory.
Southampton vs Newcastle: Result 0-1 Salika Dong became the side that had the advantage in the first semi-final game of the Carabao Cup battle after beating the Saints to the home with a score of 1-0 from Cholinton’s winning goal in the 73rd minute.
Football Carabao Cup 2022/23 Southampton 0-1 Newcastle United Football Battle Carabao Cup 2022/23 The first semi-final on Tuesday night, January 24, 2023. “Saint” Southampton open field St Mary’s Stadium welcome the visit of “Salika Dong” Newcastle United
The game passed in the 39th minute, the visiting team missed the goal, Joe Willock snatched the ball into the penalty area before switching the trigger to shoot Gavin Bazunu, swiping the ball into Cholinton’s way, hitting the goal, but The referee pointed out that the ball hit Cholinton’s arm first, causing Newcastle to not score a goal.
Next, in the 42nd minute, the locals got some hope. Mohammed Salisu tried to hit a long distance, the ball staggered towards the goal, but Nick Pope was still able to defend it. Causing the end of the first half of the time, both teams still couldn’t do anything The tie is at 0-0.
Second half, 53 minutes, Miguel Almiron cut the ball from the right side into the middle, the ball dropped to Cholinton, shot at point-blank range. But the ball slipped over the crossbar behind it unbelievably.
The next minute, Almiron dragged before crossing the ball like the previous stroke, but this time Gavin Bazunu flicked the ball towards Sven Botman, but Botman still shot off target.
Then, in the 65th minute, Che Adams dropped solo from the middle of the field. before tilting the shot But the ball still stuck to Nick Pope’s feet.
Two minutes later, James Ward-Prowse opened a free kick into the penalty area, Che Adams turned the shot, but the visiting goalkeeper can still be protected
GOAL!! Until the 73rd minute, Salika Dong came to get the door to lead Alexander Isak pulls the ball to the end of the right back line. before opening the deduction Cholinton run and shoot into the net, causing Newcastle to invade 1-0
NO GOAL!! In the 75th minute, the home team failed to score an equalizer goal. Adam Armstrong had sent the ball into the goal, but VAR indicated that his arm touched the ball first. turned into a handball
RED CARD!! Next minute 86 Douye Caleta-Car Home defensive line to make a foul on Allan Saint-Maximin The referee hands a second yellow card. Became a red card, causing Caleta-Car to be sent off the field.
During injury time, 90+5 minutes, Alexander Isak touched the ball to avoid Gavin Bazunu, but the corner was too narrow. make a shot into the window
And then the time of the match was over as Newcastle United, who beat Southampton with a score of 1-0, took advantage in the first match. For the second game, both teams will play at St. James’ Park on Tuesday night, January 31, at 3:00 a.m.