Dreadful game by all accounts, especially the second half. All the "action" was in the first, leaving an hour or so of cobblers from two teams that used to be the pride of Europe. The stinker is that Forest's point won tonight puts us back at the bottom of the table. Rumours afoot that Stevie Gerrard might be looking for work soon.
Proof if ever it were needed that Forest are as high up the shyster list as Villa - they're bloody Carpenters fans.
I've decided to knock the European Yak match reports on the head, it's becoming almost every day with the PL games as well. I'll just add notes from these games to the weekend reports.
I'll just say for now Man City had a bad hair day today...
It's happened again, I've written then something went wrong and it's all lost again.
I wasn't going to bother, but it's a corker of a Champions League game.
Rangers 1-7 Liverpool
A dismal 1-1 at HT, Firminho and headbutting new lad Nunez made it 1-3 before Mo Salah (who's been sh*te all season) was bought on for some training. He scored the fastest hat trick (3) in six (6) minutes - a CL record it seems. Someone else scored a seventh (7th) and that was about it. There could have been another two (2) minutes of stoppage time but the ref couldn't be arsed with that and called an end to the humiliation. He was probably a Celtic fan.
Bloody typical isn't it? I'm out all day tomorrow and there is only one Yak PL match on offer.
Leicester vs Palace KO 12:30
Brenda has been banging on about "the turning point of our season" following the fabulous hammering of Forest a fortnight ago. He seems to have forgotten the fabulous hammering of Leicester that Bournemouth provided last week.
What a pile of poo. We were awful again and Brenda must surely now be in the dog-house. Where's the training? Where's the obedience? Whatever the problem is, they're barking up the wrong tree. All the players tonight should have their tails between their legs.
Villa vs Chelsea 2pm Leeds vs Arsenal Man Utd vs Newcastle Southampton vs West Ham Liverpool vs Man City 4:30pm KO
Looking for some hot goal,action from Chelsea today. Meanwhile in the late KO, Mo Salah needs to do something special again. Like snapping Haaaalaaaand's ankles in the first two minutes.
Villa 0-2 Chelsea Now I'm no Chelsea fan but credit where credit is due, this is exactly the result I wanted against the Brummie shysters. I mean ideally another six would have been perfect but you can't have everything. Mason Mount scored both as b/f Gareth looked lovingly down from the stands. Stevie Gerrard got booed off again, his record is now marginally worse than Dean Smith's.
Leeds 0-1 Arsenal After 23 seconds the game was halted as a power cut hit Elland Road, most worrying was the VAR failure. After another 40 minutes, play resumed and it was pretty drab. The Gunners scored because they have Jesus on their side, but they huffed and puffed till the end when Jesus got sent off! However the working VAR proved that the Son Of God was bang to rights bringing down a non-believing Leeds shyster and the red card was rescinded. Arsenal are still top of the table looking down at their flock.
Man Utd 0-0 Newcastle No pots of Arab gold for Eddie this week, but a point away to United is acceptable. Well actually it's not, it's crap but it's worse for United which is much better news. Curiously new lad Ronaldo had scored two but both were deemed cheating so he was upset. And boss Erik ten Shag was very angry calling on his players to 'kill' opponents after Newcastle draw. Typical bloody aggressive Viking.
Southampton 1-1 West Ham More VAR woe as miserable git David Moyes suggested the machine operator should have gone to Specsavers. It seems a plucky Saint grabbed one of his players by the waist and hauled him down in a sort of judo manoeuvre which Moyes felt was not allowed in the rules. Of course it bloody well is, man!
Liverpool 1-0 Man City Wow! This was only the third Scouser win of the season but the first that City have lost (much to Arsenal's amusement), and it was Mo Salah once again after his recent hat trick (3 goals) got him back on course. Pup Guardiano was very miffed when a Phyliss goal was ruled out because Elsie had cheated in the build up, but not as miffed as Klopp who had a pop at the ref for not spotting a foul on Salah, and was sent off for his insolence. These refs are spoiling the beautiful game, they really are.
Villa defender Tyrone Minge manfully defends his goal as Mason Mount takes a world class shot.
Liverpool 1-0 West Ham Headbutting new lad Nunez scored the only goal but it looks like the Scousers are getting back on track. I assume Klopp watched from the stands after his alleged xenophobia the other day. Actually he wasn't red-carded for xenophobia, he was red-carded for gobbing off at the ref.
Newcastle 1-0 Everton Another win for the Geordies sees them stay above Liverpool in the league. Eddie was rewarded with a £1m Love2Barter voucher that he can use at a souk of his choice before the first day of Ramadan.
Fulham 3-0 Villa This is really bad, even by Villa's standards. Apart from the sound thrashing, Villa had Luiz sent off for being the cheating shyster we know he is and now Stevie Gerrard must surely be looking at the job centre.
Leicester 2-0 Leeds Moodyson and chum drove down to the King Power for the occasion, his chum being a Leeds fan so presumably kept his gob shut when Leicester finally got a decent result. Except we weren't that good and Leeds were appalling, but I think it's the first time Moodyson has seen them win "live" so who cares, a win is a win after all.
Man City 3-1 Brighton Business as usual for Pap Giddyoli as City thumped the Seagulls. By business as usual, I mean Elsie Haaaaaahaland was back on form with a brace (that's two). It really is quite boring.
Nottingham Forest 1-0 Liverpoo What a crock of shite Klopp's golden boys have turned into. Forest I ask you! Even we beat them and by a few. And talking of us, the Scouser's utter failure to eliminate the Garibaldis (no idea where that nickname came from but it is one of Forest's) leaves us back at the foot of the table again. We're off to Wolves tomorrow to try and fix this unpleasantness, someone has to.