There we go, Ipswich beat Blackburn earlier so we're in 3rd place whatever Leeds do. Feck's sake.
The only glimmer of light is that we still have a game in hand over those two, so basically if we win every match until the end of season, we win the league, even if they win all theirs too.
A thrilling pulsating encounter that saw the Geordies come back from 1-3 down to clinch the win, much down to MOTM POTM ex-Leicester turncoat shyster Hartley Barnes who came off the bench and scored a brace (that's 2) in the last seven minutes. Alex "Wicked Game" Isaak had already converted a couple of penalties due to the Bubble Blowers' cheating, but the finale was marred when Antony "Flash" Gordon spat his dummy out and petulently kicked the ball away. This being his second act of misbehaviour saw him sent down the tunnel early.
Villa 2-0 Wolves
A pathetic show from Wolves who should have used this local derby to see off the Villan gobshites after recent slip ups. But now they're still in the top 4 which is difficult to take. It wasn't all bad news, Ollie Twotkins had to be hauled off at HT due to a hamstring injury that could see him out for weeks. And also pleasent to see, or rather not see the vicious thug McGin after his recent red card for that horrible tackle. He should never play again. Actually none of them should.
Good result after a scare as the Seagulls were ahead within two minutes. Order was soon restored thanks to Kenco Diaz and Mo Salah and the Scousers were top of the league again, at least for an hour or so. The late game between Man City and Arsenal could have put either back on top with a respective win, but they bottled it in a drab show, 0-0. This will have pipped off Poop and made Arteta blub, while thrilling Jurgen who now has a slim advantage in points and there are no games in hand.
Now I did have a soft spot for Norwich because my Mum was a fan, her being from that neck of the woods. And no she didn't have six toes and pointy ears. But things have changed and our latest GM is a fan, has the scarf up in his office 'n' all. And the mug. Anyway, to the report, they went ahead quite quickly as most do these against us these days, but then a wonderous transformation took place. Yes, Keiran Dewsbury Sandringham-next-the-sea Hall scored, and then Stiphy Mavididi added a second and there were wails of anguish from a bus depot office. OK there weren't because it was Easter and the managerial shysters are all at home or in the pub, but you get the idea. As a finale, Enzo pulled Patty Daka off for being shite again and Vardy came on for a cameo goal in the 93rd minute.
Then Leeds and the Tractor Boys also won so we're still in 3rd. Leeds was especially annoying as it was a last minute bit of luck and I've had crap about it from several of their fans all day.
In which the Geordies learnt that you do not do what Leicester do and sit on a single goal for 75 minutes, it's a disaster waiting to happen even against such lowly Scousers as The Toffos. Inevitably then Alex Isaaac's goal, assisted by our Hartley Barnes, was cancelled out by a penalty two minutes from time after Geordie gobshite Paul Dummwit was spotted throttling Ashley Young in the box and hauling him down. It might be the done thing in Newcastle city centre on a Saturday night, but not on the pitch.
Tonight's entertainment comes to you courtesy of what could be a thrilling game.
Man City v Villa
Yes I have dug the old City scarf out for this one.
City will want blood after failing dismally to beat Arsenil the other day. The Villa sphincters will be going like pirates' eyeballs when Elsie Haaaaland and Kevin the Bastard are released from the subs bench in the second half.
City gave Villa the thrashing they so richly deserved, only Jnoh "te te te Reflex" Duran spoiling the party with an unnecessary goal for the Villans. Phyliss was the hero of the night with a hat trick (3) while Elsie and KtB were strangely quiet. The Villa "fans" saw fit to boo Jacqui at every opportunity, somehow forgetting the good times he gave them and the £100m cash injection when he left. Shysters.
Unai "Dick" Emery joins in the vile abuse aimed at poor Jacqui
Phyliss kicks the ref in the knackers and gets away with it
It seems to be a never ending list of fixtures just lately, and tonight sees yet another PL game.
Liverpool v Sheffield Utd
Now this is an interesting one, top of the table v bottom. The Blades have been bloody awful all season, so what will Klopp do? It would be easy to play the youth squad with their babysitters, but despite being top, The Scousers need to stay there and although winning every game is the ideal solution, it's not failsafe and can easily backfire. I would assume he'd put out a strong side looking to enhance the goal difference which is currently 8 goals inferior to Arsenal's. GD could easily decide who will be this season's Champions, so an 8-0 thumping would be of use tonight.
The Scousers huffed and puffed tbh, the 9-0 drubbing was never going to happen especially when Sheffield equalised. Damage limitation then, MacAllister getting the advantage with a stunner and Gakpo sealing the win deep into stoppage time. All is good though, it's a win and order is restored at the top of the table.
More vicious goal celebration as hero MacAllister is treated to Van Dick trying to rip his head off while Kenco Diaz attempts to squeeze the lad's intestines out one way or another. What does it all mean?