The Scousers were absolutely appalling, the worst they've played in ages in what could be Klopp's last European adventure with them. There is no rhyme or reason for this sudden capitulation apart from being knackered (apparently). They must now go to Italy and beat these cheating Wops by four clear goals. This is not how it was meant to be.
Villa 2-1 Lille
Hugely annoying result, Villa are hot favourites to win this tournament of the damned, but thankfully it wasn't all one sided and plucky Lille pulled one back late on. We must hope the garlic sniffers are on top form for the return leg.
Gobshite McGin scored one tonight and celebrated in the style of an idiot.
A disgruntled Salah tonight after his goal was disallowed - FFS if it goes in it's a goal, never mind this offside cobblers.
I am now of the opinion that we really don't want to go up this season, with a ten point deduction likely, we'd be better off staying put, buying some players, sacking this useless shyster of a manager and taking it from there.
Can't be arsed tonight either, but our PL fixture needs a word...
Newcastle 4-0 Spurs
A stunning performance from the Geordies, albeit against a dreadful Spurs side. Big performances from Alex "Wicked" Izal and Tony "Flash" Gordon, the thrashing puts NCL back in the top 6 and a Europa League place. Sadly Spurs abysmal show moves Villa back into 4th.
Newcastle have introduced "sound shirts" which allow deaf fans to feel the noise of St James' Park.
Newcastle captain Dick Burn used sign language to say "love the fans" during the celebrations that followed Izal's strike.
This is odd, quite how a deaf kid is supposed to understand Geordie sign language is beyond me.
Dick Burn demonstrates some Geordie sign language, while showing off his severed finger (or at least the space where the severed finger used to live)
A young deaf kid doesn't have a clue what Dick Burn is on about
Bruno Guimarães (look what I did there) is a brilliant footballer but a disgustingly scruffy shyster too
Basically both the teams we wanted to win, and allegedly fighting for the title, played like donkeys and have pretty well handed Poop Gladioli and his boys the prize. Especially sad for Klopp in his last season, missing the Europa Cup and probably now the League Cup. Not just Leicester who screw things up then.
Lille 2-1 Villa AET (agg. 3-3 and so to penalties) Villa win on pens 3-4
Let me elaborate. I watched the first half over dinner in the pub, a most enjoyable 45 minutes as Villa went 1-0 down and so 2-2 on aggregate. Furthermore Villa keeper and renowned cheat Emilio Martinez got hit in the mush with the ball and after several minutes of Lille being on top, decided to roll about on the floor clutching his face. Once Lille had lost momentum, he was up again and fine, but then pissed about again. This time the ref had had enough and rightly booked him for time wasting. As I tuned in back home, Lille had scored again and all looked good, but just before FT Villa clawed one back and it was all even on aggregate again at 3-3. Extra time didn't help and so to penalties.
And yet again the goalkeeping gobshite starts playing silly twots. After he saved a Lille shot, he put his finger to his mouth to hush the home crowd. The ref awarded him another yellow for playing mind games, but unbelievably he was not sent off. It seems a yellow in normal time does not get carried forward to a shoot out and so a red was not given. This is utterly disgraceful especially as it's a Villa player we're talking about. He smugly carried on and sadly Lille missed another to send Villa into the Semis. Outrageous. The Technician would have been bloody unbearable tonight.
Atalanta progress to the semi finals as the Scousers died on their sorry arses, it's a miserable end to Jurgen's dream finale. There was faint hope early in the first half as Liverpool won a penalty, duly struck by Mo Salah who had to almost physically remove Terence-Trent-Alexander-Arnold from the spot even though it was TTAA's rightful spot kick. After that it was tedium throughout as Atalanta soaked up what little pressure they got and cruised into the Semi finals on their first leg performance. Liverpool are in a mess and Klopp's end of term party is well and truly ruined.
The only team now left in European competition is Villa.